This is life.

After being at Bible College for the past few months, my life is different. In every aspect, I am different. My life has drastically changed through the environment I am placed in, the people I am around, and the knowledge I am constantly being fed. The Lord is truly great. He restores, heals, and renews more than you or I could every imagine or truly understand. At the time I came to be here, at CCBC, I was so broken in every portion of my little life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, I was crushed beyond belief. Decisions that I had made in my life and situations I had put myself through, took a toll on me; and while I suffered, so did my relationship with my First Love. Dwindling to just short of nothing, I had walked away from Truth, from Hope, from the Promises i had once clung to with everything. I was captured by condemnation with no visible way of escape. I truly believed the lies Satan fed me; that the Lord couldn't use me, that He didn't want my heart, that I was too far gone. I remember waking up one morning thinking, it shouldn't be this hard, that life shouldn't hurt this much. Yet no one knew the hurt I felt because I hid it so well. I would put on the face, the lie, and go about my day. This continual process sucked everything out of me. Joy and hope were things of distant memories never to be toyed with again; or so I thought.

What I have learned, more than anything, is that the Lord LOVES YOU! I will say it again, He Loves you so much. No matter where you have been, or how far you have wandered, He has been there right behind you. All you have to do is turn around, and He is right there. You see, God has such a wonderful, divine plan for you. He wants to use the mistakes and the failures and the brokenness in your life to fulfill His works. In this way, His glory is manifested. I remember the day everything started to click for me, to really make sense. I had grown up "knowing" the Word, knowing what is said, but I never really had revelation knowledge. My Romans teacher, Dave Shirley, taught in a way I had never heard before. For me, it was like I was hearing brand new information. He taught that we, as God's children, were in Christ at the time of His crucifixion. We get this act of incredible love credited to our account. See, in the Lord's eyes, we can NEVER be as guilty as His Son. His perfect Son who took on the sins of the world to be judged for us. How mind-blowing is it to think that the Lord sees us s worthy? Okay, I'm getting off on a tangent. Here is the overview of what I am trying to convey here; Jesus took on the sin of the world, past, present, and future. The Lord judged Him and poured out His wrath until He was satisfied. Here's the crazy part, we can never be as guilty as Jesus. Never. Because we have the ultimate price paid by Christ credited to our accounts, we can never be condemned. How ultimately sweet is that?!?!

Dave Shirley said in that same class that, we are never more right with the Lord than right now. This very moment, He sees you as purified, justified, sanctified, and being glorified. That is truly amazing. It rocked my world! See, I had never been taught no condemnation in Christ, so to think that despite all my screw-ups, He still could use me, was mesmerizing. I started thinking, if you really know and understand His perfect love for you, how can you not want to share that?! Through many more classes like this one and truly grasping just a hint God's endless love, I have been restored. He has changed my life dramatically. In my brokenness, He was my healing, in my sorrow, my joy, and in my weakness, my strength. I have learned that the things we have done do not define us. Our pasts are not who we are. We are pure. We are righteous. We are exactly what He wants to use. So this is life. Beautiful redeemed, forgiven life. In the joy, in the sorrow, in the darkness, and in the light, He is with you always!

2 Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.